just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
