So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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