Cold hands, warm shart.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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