I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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