She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We need to rekindle our bromance
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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