remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
