OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
