haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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