we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
