Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
