is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
