Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
