i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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