Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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