I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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