I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
