It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
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I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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