so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
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I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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