Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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