if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
