you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
