How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
