he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
