are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
