he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
