So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
