I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
