3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
