i don't like sucking hair
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
