wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
