We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
