hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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