please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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