Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
