ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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