one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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