Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i think i have two assholes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
