you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
