Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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