I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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