i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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