every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
