I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize