i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
