Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
