It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
