We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
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your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.