I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
