you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
