Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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