I heard we made out
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
