It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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