i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize