he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize