You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
