new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Randomize
