i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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