never play flip cup with pint glasses
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
