I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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