So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
