he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
