Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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