so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
