I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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